Not Worth My Tears
by x.MaybeForever
Summary: Lilly goes through heartbreak as she watches the one she loves, loving someone else...This story might relate to you, I know it relates to me.


**A/N: so my best friend, they guy who I have been crushing on my entire life asked out this really pretty girl a week after he kissed me. I am so confused and upset. I don't know what to think anymore. It's not the first time he has done something like this. All my friends try to comfort me but I know they are just saying those things to make me feel better but in no way are they working. Maybe this has happened to you. Any advice? I can't exactly talk to anyone about my situation so I just wrote this. I hope you like it.**

Lilly's POV

I look out my bedroom window. The sun was shining through the thin sheet of glass. How could a day of such beauty bring me down? I picture a field full of spring flowers of all assorted colors, with green trees off in the distance and the glow of the hot sun beaming down on it all. Then, I saw them. That's when the fairytale scene full of flowers and rainbows turned into a scene of depression and heartbreak. Black replaced everything with a single light trying to break free.

I shook my head. I don't want this to continue on. I don't want to have another night where I cry myself to sleep. I would not let my tears falls. I can't let them fall, I have to stay strong. But that is so hard to do when watching the one you love, loving someone else.

They walk together down my street. He has his arms wrapped around her in such a loving way, letting her know that he loves her. She giggles as she places her head on his shoulder giving him the same signals. She lifts her head and flips her short, chestnut coloured hair over her left shoulder. Her dark brown eyes are gleaming at him as she walks beside him like she has just won the lottery, which in a way, she has.

I want to scream. I want to be that girl he walks down the streets holding hands with. I want him be there for me whenever trouble comes. I want him to show me off to his friends. I want him to look at his buddies and say "see that girl over there, that is my girlfriend." And more importantly, I want to tell him I love him, and hear him say it back.

I am losing him. My best friend, I am losing him. I am losing him to the one he truly loves with all his heart. Will I ever get him back, or is he gone forever? I pick up my cell phone off my dresser and scroll through my contact list. I stop on an all too familiar contact. The one contact I use to call my best friend which is titled 'Ollie.' Should I call him? Send him a text? I stare at my phone than back at him. He is laughing and all smiles, the complete opposite I feel. I should feel happy that he has found love. I should feel happy because he is happy. But I'm not. I look back at my phone. I can't do it. If I call him and he ignores my call, my heart will shatter into millions of tiny pieces.

I knew if Miley were here, if she knew how I felt, she would pull me into a tight hug and whisper in my ear that everything would turn out alright, and that they will break up in the near future. But I can't tell her, I can't tell anyone. Not in the fear of being laughed at or rejected, but in the fear of him finding out. In the fear our friendship with sink to the bottom of the ocean and never return to the surface. He is with someone else now and I just have to learn to accept that.

I look at myself in the mirror hanging beside my window. I turn sideways and lift up my shirt. I sigh and put my shirt back in its place. I play with my blond hair, twirling a single strand around my finger. I stare back out the window and look at her. I am not nearly as pretty as she is. Of course he loves her. She's gorgeous, she's a straight A student, she's athletic, and she knows how to make a guy laugh. I want to so badly look like her, be like her, act like her. But I will not change. Never will I change myself for a guy. This is who I am, like it or hate it, I will not change.

But it still makes me wonder will I ever find love? Will I ever find a man who loves me? Will I end up living alone in a one room apartment with twelve cats? Will I die alone with no man there to tell me he loves me before I take my parting breath? These are the questions that haunt me as I see them together. There like a puzzle. A puzzle which is not complete without the last piece placed.

I can't control it anymore. I cannot stay strong. I let tears trickle down my cheeks. Everyone finds love, don't they?

I take one last look at the couple in love as they ignore my house and turn the corner out of sight. I bring my hands to my eyes and wipe away my tears. I refuse to let any more fall. If he is too blind to see what I am worth, that's his fault. He is not worth my tears.

**A/N: I wrote this in less than an hour. I had to let it all out. What do you think? I know I am not the only one out there who has had their heart broken by the one they love. It's something I have experience before in my life, but I has never been as bad as this time. Anyone else have any terrible experiences they'd like to share? **

**Reviews?**

**CaliforniaGurl.x**


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